Rushing to get to my ‘attack’ class, I unleashed my little lion from his car seat. As I lifted him I felt my back tighten but I ignored the flashing red signals coming from my body and strapped my gym bag on, swung Felix onto my other hip and grabbed his back pack. I dropped my boy off to the creche and then hobbled to a high impact training class. Five minutes into it my stiffness turned to sharp shards of pain and within minutes I seized up, unable to walk forward without help. I was escorted home having to leave my car, my embarrassment, my wonder woman suite and mobility behind.
The pain was mean and I was angry at myself for folding. I went to the physio for treatmentand devised the ultimate punishment for myself: a cleanse/detox: no dairy, wheat, soy, sugar or fun in order to calm the inflammation within.
The violence of my dietary decisions were so similar to the pain of my bulging disc that I felt punished rather then loved. Regardless I embraced the challenge of cooking with limitations and my days looked like this…
Breakfast of kale, lemon and pea protein (not bad and energising for morning)
Lunch of Grilled chiken with a cucumber and mint salsa, grilled vegetables and salad
Dinner: more kale, lemon and pea protein (TORTURE!)
The inflammation in my body did calm but my moodiness, negativity and anxiety deepened leaving me caged and trapped.
So today I stretched out on a green mat listening to soft music in a yoga class. I was irritated and stiff, then the teacher delivered these words:
“take in each breath as if it was a delicious meal, savor it, make it last…”
My mind slowly dropped its cruel, dark guard, my breath wondered deep into my belly and my body ventured slowly into each movement. I let it play, decide how far to go, enjoy. My mind opened to my body’s needs and my body, feeling heard and nurtured, merged and embraced my mind.
Then my feet fell some place on the mat, my arms were suddenly in some sort of prayer, my mouth soft, my heart open and my mind with the most important questions of all:
“what will I have for dinner”? … detox is over!